Whether you want to try some light spanking or learn more about how to practice BDSM safely, there are few things you should know about.
Decide What Is Off-Limits and Use a Safe-Word
Safety things first: You must negotiate and communicate with your partner(s) about what you both want from the experience. An in-person conversation, before you start, to discuss what you both want and what is off-limits. This discussion should include what type of sex and sex play you like and don’t like (eg. no anal). Also, condom use and safe sex.
Once you’re on the same page with your partner(s), it’s important to pick out a clear safe word. You can use the words ‘yellow’ and ‘red’ for slowing down and stopping completely, respectively. You can either follow our suggestions or come up with your own safe words, just make sure there is a safe word involved.
Some people who enjoy impact play also role-play as part of a BDSM scene. They might be into a role-play and say things like ‘no,’ or ‘stop,’ but they really want to keep going. That’s why we use safe words rather than ‘oh, no, that’s enough’.
BDSM Role Play and Consent
It is extremely important that all roleplay within BSDM and sexual play is coessential. No, Stop or The “Safe Word” if used must be adhered to. Anything that was not agreed upon before could be an issue too. Consent means actively agreeing to be sexual with someone. Consent lets someone know that sex or BDSM play is wanted. BDSM Play and Sexual activity without consent could be regarded as is rape, sexual assault, or common assault.
So what do we mean by consent? Sexual or BDSM consent is an agreement to participate in the activity. Before being playing BDSM with someone, you need to know if they want to play the BDSM game or be sexually active with you too. It’s really important, to be honest with your partner about what you want and don’t want. Even if the sexual activity has started, and even if you are both in bed naked – No Means No! To continue after being told no means you could be accused of rape or assault.
More On Consent Regading BDSM and Sex
- Freely given. Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Reversible. Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.
- Informed. You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
- Enthusiastic. When it comes to BDSM and sex, you should only do stuff you both WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do.
- Specific. Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex).
You get the final say over what happens with your body. It doesn’t matter if you’ve hooked up before or even if you said yes earlier and then changed your mind. You’re allowed to say “stop” at any time, and your partner needs to respect that.
Quote and Good Advice From Planned Parenthood
“Must Knows” on Impact Play
Safe BDSM play is especially important with impact play. In addition to communicating, with impact play, one has to know where it’s safe to hit and be hit. You want to hit areas on the body that are fleshier and fattier. The buttocks, thighs, and front of the legs.
You must avoid hitting someone on their spine. You must avoid hitting someone on the lower back where the kidneys are present. You must avoid basically any area in which you could damage organs.
Be careful not to over do things in the genital area as this could cause long lasting damage.
If you’re into slapping, make sure to avoid the eyes, mouth, and nose, and keep a flat hand on the fleshy cheek. It’s a good idea to practice on a pillow before engaging in impact play with your partner. If you are curious about BDSM impact play toys, start small with a hand, and then work your way up.
Safe Play With Fetish Sex Toys
It is always important to look after your sex toys, store them safely and thoroughly sterilize them after use. It recommended that you do not share imitate toys like like dildos and penis pups, infections can be transferred this way.
STDs and Safe Sex
I know we are all grown-ups, be you really should consider the issues relating Sexually Transmitted Diseases. If you are having sex with new or different partners then you should a get an STI check periodically.
The use of a condom is the best way to have safe sex and there really are some fun ones out there.